Journals of Journeys Journals of Spiritual, Emotional and Life-Altering Journeys

The Bourgeois Go Shopping

"Tiffany, I just got the bill from the credit card company and am a bit surprised to see the charges were so high. What on earth did you buy?"

"Funny you should mention 'earth' John, because that's exactly what I was doing - saving the planet!"

"Really? And how did you accomplish that?"

"Well, we needed some more wine glasses for the barbecue, right?"

"Uh, right."

"So, of course buying plastic disposables is out of the question. They don't decompose well and are toxic to the environment, right?"

"So the story goes."

"Exactly! So glass is a better bet since it can be melted and reshaped into other goods, or, new glasses for that matter."

"Okay."

"So I was shopping online for recyclable glasses and came across glasses already made from recycled materials. Windshields as a matter of fact!"

"Windshields you say?"

"Yes, incredible, isn't it? Who'd have thought!"

"I wouldn't. I sure hope they do wash them first. For some reason all I can picture is a black fly floating in my glass of Chablis."

"Very funny, John. Of course they wash them first!"

"Good. So you bought some I take it?"

"Yes, of course."

"How much?"

"Two dozen."

"No, Tiff, I meant how much were the glasses?"

"I don't quite recall, but I remember they'd been on sale and I got a better deal by ordering more."

"What was the company's name? Glass Implosion?"

"Yes! Yes, that's it!"

"And you said you got a good deal?"

"Uh huh."

"I see. Did you happen to check the Sunday ads?"

"We don't get the paper anymore, John. We have an online subscription, remember?"

"Yes, but we still can look at the ads, right?"

"I believe so, why?"

"Well, Tiff, did you check there first?"

"What are you asking, John?"

"So you didn't see the ad for the set of twenty-four glasses on sale at K-Mart for less than a buck a glass?"

"K-ame-a-Part? Don't be absurd, John! I'd never be caught dead shopping there!"

"And yet you have no qualms about buying recycled windshields out of a warehouse less than six miles from 3-Mile Island at thirty-five times what it would have cost to buy them from - what did you call it?"

"Kame Apart."

"Yes. And did you also realize this Kame Apart offered free shipping? Meaning you wouldn't have had to step foot in their wretched store?"

"But John--"

"I suppose next you'll tell me the money you spent is recyclable too."

"It's safer for our environment!"

"And I suppose the computer and the electricity is safer than the newspaper that's (a) recyclable and (b) printed on recycled paper and is better for the environment, too."

"Of course it is!"

"Really? And what do you do when the computer stops working, Tiffany?"

"Give it to an electronics recycler." 

"I see. And the plastics? They're recycled how?"

"I'm not sure. I suppose they're melted down too."

"Really? You can safely melt plastic?"

"Stop it John! You're giving me a headache!"

"Well wet a towel and go lay down."

"I've too much to do to lay down. I'll just take some Motrin."

"Out of a plastic bottle ...."

by Kathie Leung
(c) 2009
All Rights Reserved