ICP « Journals of Journeys

12May/09Off

Patience In Healing – Update On Sean

As I read this update from Terri, I envisioned a wound healing and getting to that itchy stage where you just want to itch and peel off that scab but know you just have to be patient and let the wound finish healing. The news Terri has to share today is exciting at so many levels! Time to rejoice!

Posted at approximately 10 pm PT
Kiersten and I just returned from the hospital. We said goodnight to Sean. Vince will stay with him until 2 and I will return at 6 as is our routine. Sean's day started out really good and then he had a rough afternoon. It was the usual stuff, a fever and his ICP. Not horrible but a little rough. When we left he seemed to be starting to trend back in the right direction. He is in a lighter sedation as I said earlier and today whenever we talked to him he kept trying to blink and sometimes it looked like he was struggling to open his eyes. We explained to him a few times that he was in an accident and that he is safe but he needs to rest to get a little better before he can wake up. We told him to relax and not fight the sedation. This is exciting because it is signs of good brain activity, but it is hard because he wants to wake up and we miss him so bad we want him to wake up also. Kiersten and I were talking about it and we realized that it has been quite a few days since we last had a melt down so maybe we are overdue. We just miss him. For those of you who don't know him, he has the best smile and he is so funny. He makes us laugh all the time. He is also intelligent and a good conversationalist. He is just such an important part of our family. Did I say we miss him? I know in my heart that God is healing Sean. It is so evident. It is amazing how many people care about him and are praying for him, not only outside the hospital but in the ICU. His nurses have become very fond of him and I can't prove it but I suspect that there is a little competition to see who gets to take care of him each shift. Several nurses are praying for him which is such a comfort to us to know that not only are these highly skilled professionals caring for our son but they get who is really in charge.

Thank you beautiful people in and outside of the hospital for loving our Sean. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Love,
Terri, Vince, Sean & Kiersten

Kyle and Kayla are in Redding for a few days taking care of their mama who had carpel tunnel surgery on both wrists today. Please pray for speedy healing for Kim. (She's not very patient )

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12May/09Off

Good Signs: Update on Sean

Sorry, this was a sleep in and then jump to work on edits for upcoming conference morning.

Posted this morning.
Yesterday was so hectic that it was difficult to find a moment to update so I am updating before I go back to the hospital. I went to see Sean at 6 and he was doing well. His night was okay, not great, but okay. He had a CT at 4 and tolerated it well. While I was there he was taking spontaneous breaths and biting his breathing tube. All good signs but as I said last night they want him more sedated. While I was there Dr. Lobosky came in to check on Sean. He showed me Sean's CT and he said that it looks like maybe the swelling is starting to decrease. In the new CT you can see squiggly lines and a place where there is cerebral fluid. He showed me an earlier CT where this wasn't visible. God is holding on to Sean and He will see him through this.

As for the rest of us, we are working on trying to get more sleep and exercise. My friend Sue comes by the hospital and walks me everyday which is greatly needed and appreciated. We are eating well. Thanks to all who are feeding us. The dinners have been above and beyond. I don't think that I will want to go back to cooking. Thank you to all of you who are supporting us in so many ways. You are all examples of God's love. It is no accident that you have found yourselves in this place at this time. I know that God has placed each and every one of you in our path because He loves all of us so much.

I haven't given an assignment in awhile so here it goes. Eat something healthy today, get a little exercise and a little rest. Thank God that He has given you these simple gifts that we take for granted. When crisis strikes these simple everyday activities are hard to come by, so enjoy them and appreciate them, really appreciate them, when they are easy to come by.
As always please pray for Sean, and remember God is great and He is present.

Love,
Terri, VInce, Sean, & Kiersten

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11May/09Off

Elevated Temps and ICP, Surgery, Recovery: Sean’s Updates

Earlier today Terri put out a brief update I just happened to catch and emailed out to those on the list. Here, in the order they came through (which was fast and furious) are the updates from this evening:

Posted at approximately 8:30 pm PT
Sean is having swan catheter(a catheter that measures cardiac output) replaced right now. It was supposed to have happened at 4:30 but it's been a busy day around here so the cardiologist wasn't free until later. He has to have the swan catheter as long as they have him on the pentabarb. He had one but it is 13 days old and was no longer working correctly and they fear infection when it gets that old. Sean had a rough day today. He had a fever and he was coughing a lot earlier which made his ICP go up. He also had a rapid heart rate because of the fever. Earlier when the Dr. was in with the nurses I got a chance to listen in. He really wants Sean off the pentabarb so they are going to throw everything else at him to achieve that goal. Sean's sedation level was lighter earlier so that is why he was coughing so much. He was also shivering and biting the breathing tube. The Dr. wants him to be more heavily sedated, just not with the pentabarb. When Vince and I left at 5:30 things were beginning to turn around. His ICP, fever and temp were all coming down. When we left we thought that we would be able to come back in at 8 after the shift change but unfortunately the surgery was pushed back. So here we sit waiting, anxious because we haven't seen him in 3 hours. But, God is in that room with him and the surgeon and everyone else so we know that he is in good hands. Pray for him as always. I will update after I see him and go home.
Love,
Terri, Vince, Sean & Kiersten

quick update..

Posted at approximately 10:00 pm PT

hi guys,
the catheter was just put it...and all is going fairly smoothly.
Sean is still shivering, and still has a fever. His ICP's are
basically the same as before. No new news for you all, but have a
good night:).
Love,
The [Terri, Vince, Sean & Kiersten]

Posted at approximately 10:20 pm PT

Just back from the hospital. Sean's ICP was 16 when I left. All
indications are that he should have a good night. Please pray with
us that he does. Thank you all for your prayers and support.
Love,
Sean and family

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8May/09Off

Signed "LOve Sean and Family"

Sean's Updates

Posted at approximately 10:30 am PT

Sean had another good night last night. At one point his ICP went to 0. That didn't last long it stayed in the teens and sometimes the twenties throughout the night but Vince was there for the 0 and he loved being able to see it. Last night we did the same routine as the night before and it worked well. We got a little more sleep. Sean was fine in our four hour absence. When Vince and I were discussing this transition on Thursday I told him that I thought that leaving the hospital was a demonstration of our faith. It seemed to me that we were praying and believing that God could and would heal Sean, but we weren't leaving Sean's side. By being able to go home and sleep we are saying we trust you God, we know that You Lord will protect him as we can not. And as a southern pastor in New Orleans told me a few years ago, "When you step out in faith, fear got nuthin to do but fall behind, cause fear can't stand in the face of God!" How true are those words. When you truly honestly step out in faith, God guards your heart and removes your fear. That's not to say that we don't keep trying to grab control back, but when we do we recognize it and in prayer relinquish our lives and Sean's well being to God.

I am sitting here this morning in the hospital cafeteria. I went to see Sean at 6 then went back home and showered and returned to the hospital. I saw Sean for a little while. He was having a breathing treatment, which he seems to love because his ICP always drops when he gets one. This may sound funny because he is still so critical, but he looks good. To us he looks like he is getting better. I have such a sense of peace this morning. I know 100% that God is holding on to Sean and He intends for Sean to be well again. If anyone is reading this I am sure that you believe this as well. Because although he is receiving amazing care,(and I mean amazing, we are blown away by the standard of excellence that is practiced 24/7 in that ICU) Sean's healing is a miracle from God.

Have a peaceful, wonderful, joyful, love filled Saturday everyone. Thank you for your love and prayers and unending support. As always keep on praying ceaselessly for our amazing Sean and for all of the people in the ICU (it is very full right now) and their families.

Love,
Sean and family

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7May/09Off

Update: Kinda About Sean, But Then…

Just a few minutes ago I received word there was another update on Sean's condition. Sorry, I took out a few minutes to post a response to Terri before posting here. Why? Well, I'll explain that after you read this:

From The Home Computer

Posted at approximately 10:15 pm
Sean had another stable day. He has been fighting a fever but he is doing better. His ICP still climbs and has to be managed with meds but it is more manageable every day.

Tonight we moved out of the room. Kyle and Kayla left out of town for a night for a much needed break. Kiersten and I came home at 9 after moving everything out of our waiting room and saying goodnight to Sean. Vince will stay at the hospital with Sean until 2am. I will attempt to sleep soon and return to Sean at 6am if I can possibly stay away that long. I know we are doing the right thing because Vince and I are so exhausted we can hardly stand it and we have to get some sleep but honestly this is one of the hardest things that I have ever done. My heart hurts so bad right now because I can't stand to be away from Sean while is is still so critical. I know that God is holding him, I know that God will see him through this and I believe that God was nudging us out the door because when we left the waiting room was full of other families that need the space. I know all of this but the mom in me can't bear to be away from my boy. Also I don't want to be away from Vince as he is tired and I don't want him to be alone.

Please excuse my weakness tonight I'm tired and I need for Sean to be well. I am sure that the morning will bring a better outlook. Please pray for us as we attempt this transition. God will see us all through this we just have to have faith and accept the comfort that God has for all of us.
Goodnight prayer warriors.

Love,
Terri, Vince, Sean, Kiersten, Kyle & Kayla

And this was my response:

Terri, I wish I could give you advice, but I don't have any. This goes back to when the kids were just babies and having a tough time sleeping through the night. Z[-dude] never had a problem, Ry[-guy] did. It absolutely killed me to follow the pediatrician's nurse's advice which was to leave him in a room without contact. It went against every grain in my body. I was in absolute misery and just a few months later, Jamie and Paul, the characters on "Mad About You" (remember that show?) aired a special that dealt with that entire issue and I relived it. The grief was indescribable except that I can tell you it felt like someone was cutting my heart out and then stomping on it with steel toed boots. But when I spoke to the doctor he said that I should have talked to him, he never would have advised me to have done that. He said that if it's that difficult, it's just not time. There was nothing wrong with having that bond between mother and child and what purpose did it serve to severe it? Hearing you say these things reminds me of that pain. So, upon the advice of a very wise man and the wisdom of mothers around the world, if it hurts this much, then why? Logic? Is it really logical to hurt like this? Are you truly going to get a better night's sleep being at home, twenty minutes away from the hospital, staggering the time between you and your number one supporter, your husband and father of your child? Follow you heart and in the meantime, we will be lifting all of you up. I wish I had a motorhome to drive into [the hospital's] lot because I'd be there in a second. Maybe I can hotwire the neighbor's RV, think they'd notice?
Follow your heart. Many blessings, much love and endless peace for all of you.

Do you have anything to share in support of Terri and Vince? Even though Sean's condition is going into a more steady state, it's not out of being critical. Now, more than ever, his family needs to be well-rested. But will this happen by being at home in their own beds, staggering their time at the hospital and being separated as a result? What do you have to add that might be of help to them? Or maybe we can lift them up in prayer, let God guide them. Yes. Let's do that.