Let me state for the record, I don’t like working for other people and if I must, I prefer to be as autonomous as possible, preferably working for someone who is older than me so that I’m not as quick to disregard their instructions or cast off constructive criticism. I do not like green eggs and ham, Sam I am.
That said, I have a lot on my plate in light of the troubled economy. It’s a juggling act I don’t enjoy mostly because I watched my mother endure this when I was growing up and had hoped that I would never have to experience it myself when I got to become a mother. In some ways I was jealous she had a life outside of home and that she often seem distracted when I needed some one-on-one time. But in the years that have passed, I think that part is just her, she’s a true multi-tasker and seems to be “at her best” when she has many pots on the fire (how’s that for a bunch of cliches?). It would have been good to have known that back then, though. Whether her distractibility quotient existed prior to starting a family and is now a part of her character as a result of the many years of being “forced” to multi-task is certainly to be considered. Still, for me, being a mom is a full-time job. There’s a lot of work required and to multi-task that, I personally feel, is a detriment to my kids. I’m not saying every mother is that way (and I’m not saying that it was in my situation as a kid growing up), I’m saying that for me, I see it as such.
The economy’s slump was in the cards. We went through some living-high-off-the-hog years with high salaried jobs, material possessions that could have paid an entire family’s entire year’s living expenses back when I was still living at home, exotic vacations and multiple ones at that. Sadly, my own family has succumbed to those glitzy aspects, too. It’s evident in my children’s faces as they are beginning to realize that no, we really cannot afford this or that; it’s not a lesson we’re trying to teach, we just do not have the money. It’s evident in my husband’s face when he realizes that no, I’m not being a selfish penny-pincher, we really cannot afford to go out and replace the sluggish weed-wacker, either make do or do without. And now it’s become perversely evident as I longingly wish (need) to take my semi-annual “mommy” break and know that it’s impossible, unless I go pitch a tent somewhere, to go.
Returning to work is troubling. There’s no getting ahead, this won’t fluff the account out enough to buy the kids the “extras” or to replace the wacky weed-wacker or go on a “mommy” break. And if that’s not enough to have to wrap my fading red hair around, I’m trying to figure out where to get enough time in the day and weekends to get projects going so we can make our holiday gifts. But I’m not singing the song you probably have been humming already. It’s just frustrating.
So it all comes down to a vote. Whose the best candidate for the people? I’m twixt and ‘tween (and no, don’t take this as an invitation for commenting with your propaganda) and am leaning more towards the Bozo the Clown/Howdy Doody ticket. Seems to me, they’ll keep me laughing through it all.